Have You Ever Felt Like

have you ever felt like

quitting the things you love to do

after you discovered

the person you most disagree with

turned out doing all the things

you love to do


here comes a question for a question

why should you


i don't want to see her in me when

doing the things i love to do


here comes fear


VillinKs, November 15th minus 17 2020

Mint

terik sudah berhari bahkan berminggu

membuat si tanaman mint gosong

dan si ucok terperas keringatnya

hingga khalayak kagum beri puji

padahal si ucok cuma kepanasan

 

tiba-tiba di tanggal empat belas

kelabu mengandungi langit kelam

air curahannya bertubi mendera

buat si ucok, deras itu terlalu banyak

lukanya terkuak oleh kesejukan hujan

 

si tanaman mint sudah segar

tapi si ucok punya ego di atas tinggi badan

setengah jinjit tegak tengadah mata terpejam

lantang si ucok presentasikan pada langit:

ah, kamu cuma curhat!

 

pujian tak (lagi) terdengar       

 

HR, 14 Septembar 2020

What Does It Mean to Stay at Home?


You might think that it does not matter for you to die fifty years later in a peaceful sleep or tomorrow infected by corona. That’s up to you. It’s your life. Just better not die in selfishness. Other people have their own life, too. You might die fifty or seventy or a hundred years later, in a peaceful sleep, and yet had once lived as a carrier of Corona virus. The virus you carried while ignoring social distancing warning might have put someone’s life short beyond their own will. That life, is not yours.

During this pandemic that has taken the whole world by surprise, most of us have been asked to stay at home. From a linguistic point of view, “stay” is a verb. Therefore, when you stay at home, you are indeed DOING SOMETHING. You are SAVING LIVES.

If someone brainless ask you, “Staying at home, tell me, what do you do?” Tell her, loud and clear, “I save lives!”

If you are an employer and you permit your employee to stay home, you are by no means, giving them the opportunity to take the task of saving lives. This employee might mean nothing to you, but by making them socialize in your workplace, they might transmit the virus to someone that does, matter to you.
It doesn’t matter whether your employee is 20yo, or 60yo, or a father, or a mother, or single. Each of their life should matter equal. Don’t you think so? If the 20yo life suddenly comes to an end, would not the mother mourn? I am not going to ask what if your son.

Moreover, anyone, regardless of age, gender, or status, has equal capability of transmitting the virus. It does not require being a physician to understand this. But, it does require being a psycho to exercise pressure on those who opt to work from home.

To summarize, in this circle of pandemic, that life – whether it’s yours or anyone else’s – which you have no respect on, carries all possibility to socialize the virus to the life that does, matter to you. I bet you have several.

#StayAtHome #DiRumahAja #ObeySocialDistancing #JagaJarak #Covid19

The Pandemic

Three months into 2020,

A man's heart deviseth his way: but the Lord directeth his steps.
(Proverbs 16:9)

could not have more significance.

Before /Cov.id/19 and After

the BEFORE

[1]
felt grateful having enough to pay my bills
buy grocery, and cook

[2]
planning an itinerary and bringing it to work
called traveling, was my gift

[3]
"if only I were the leader"
wishfully thinking


the AFTER

[1]
feel grateful for a 24-hours-available hot shower
for a gallon of mineral water deliverable to my door
for onion on the grocery shelf
for ingredients to cook

[2]
deciding on which to start the day at home with
reading or cooking or sewing or watching movie
while being excited yay!
is yet a gift

[3]
"luckily I am not a leader" coz
if I act fast, some would say I am causing panic
if I act mindfully, some would say I do not mind
deeply sighing


the unforgettable March 2020


The Forbidden Trip

All in a day's work, the CUNning C dragged my mind to the historical CUNning C who had been told and retold by many authors. Contrary to her ambition, she actually initiated a republic named in alphabet beginning with a "C". She was a Manchu fluent in Chinese born cunning. Her name was Empress Dowager Cixi. See? 

forbidden!
is the word that gives a sense of
power.

for someone like her
that sense of power has something to do with
inseCUrity
hence a watchtower:
"you, are not to see me, but I am."

tragic as it is
inseCUrity is never secure
a corner tower at every corner
needs yet to be secured with a moat all around the
forbidden city

standing inside the tower of power
she spread both her arms like 大
"I, am in charge!"

blue sky grinned from above
for she had missed her final lesson:

her moat freezed
snow concealed her schemes

amidst all sophisticated words she could speak under
a curly tongue
she couldn't write her own history

All in a day's work, the CUNning-C-approved trip turned into a forbidden trip because of the people from the forbidden city.

Even Beijing in winter outside the Forbidden City did not send me this much chill.


February the Seventeenth
2020

/Border/

a border
is something inevitable
regardless of wealth, education, or status
there has to be a day, and then another, and another
when we willingly or unwillingly have to pass one

at the border
i braved myself to stand
in a separate manner with separate feelings for separate characters
into separate countries

tomorrow
is another border


Soekarno Hatta International Airport Departure Hall,
February 14th 2020

The CUNning C

when will you see the cunning C?
you will see when you see
you will never see when you cannot see

Hitler. Rasputin. had lost more sanity
than the C, seemingly
yet admirers remain till today

rumor has it, Hitler killed himself
Rasputin, after a series of failed attempted murders
was found dead

books have been written
movies have been played
yet admirers see different

when will you see the cunning C?
i waited in believing that
you will see when you see

until one day, i realized
even if the cunning C ends up H or R
you will never see when you cannot see

now i see


見る人は見る
見れない人はあくまでも見ない


ジャカルタはずじゃなった、
2020年2月11日





Close to Thee










栃木、2020年2月9日雪
より良い


lyrics: Close to Thee
by Frances J. Crsoby







location:
China

Aku Hebat

sesungguhnya,
aku hanya berdiam diri
menunggu sampai kacau

sesungguhnya,
ketika mereka kata aku hebat
aku hanya bikin kacau

sesungguhnya,
membuat yang baik menjadi lebih baik
tidak kumiliki kemampuannya

yang mana adalah rahasia


Jakarta, 22 Januari 2020